


Loverholic Robotronic

by incandescence, takajima



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: A.I.ing aishiteru, Crack, M/M, Robot/Human Relationships, chinen the enabler, collabaeration, this is so gratituous, used to be filled with kyaas but we killed the chuus, wE'RE SORRY OKAY
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-02 22:52:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11519175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/incandescence/pseuds/incandescence, https://archiveofourown.org/users/takajima/pseuds/takajima
Summary: Yuto is a robot. Yamada owns him.





	Loverholic Robotronic

**Author's Note:**

> I: We began this in 2014 because autocorrect changes 'Yuto' and 'Auto'.... so we ran with it. Three years later, we're posting it. (We're sorry)  
> T: It's been three years and I still want a robot!Yuto in my life (We're so sorry)

“Y Series 3991, model number NKJ810, your perfect lover!” Chinen reads out loud dramatically, pausing to waggle his eyebrows at Yamada. 

“Why did I let you talk me into this,” Yamada sighs, staring at the huge box that was delivered to their front door not seconds ago. 

“Because I’m full of good ideas and you know it,” Chinen beams. “Besides, you need to get laid. Come on, let’s bring it in!” 

“Is this my robot or yours?” 

“You can carry it in then, smartass,” Chinen huffs, leaving poor Yamada stranded with a box twice his size. 

Half an hour later the box is in his apartment, no thanks to Chinen. 

“Yay, time to open it!” Chinen leaps off the couch the minute a sweaty Yamada shuts the front door. Yamada freezes at the sight of Chinen running towards him.

“Where did you get that knife from?” he asks. 

“The kitchen, where else?” Chinen drops to his knees and promptly begins slicing open the box. 

The box is opened to reveal a very human-like robot, wearing a tux. The first thing Yamada notices is his height. His eyes grow wide.

“Can he stay lying down forever?” 

“Why? So you can jump him? Let me know, I’ll leave so you can get some privacy.” 

Yamada splutters in protest, but Chinen’s no longer paying him any attention. 

“I wonder how we turn him on,” he muses, eyes scanning the robot while he searches. 

“You want to turn him on now?” Yamada is shocked. “Maybe we should wait a bit, we don’t know what this thing can do yet. We could… read the manual?” He leans down to take the booklet grasped in one of the robot’s hands and feebly offers it to Chinen.

Chinen ignores him, and gives the robot’s cheeks a tentative squish. “Nope, that’s not it,” he sighs. 

“Seriously, what if he wakes up and starts trashing everything? Or worse, he reorganises your Arashi shrine?” 

“Your manga collection is closer,” Chinen points out, and Yamada realises he’s right. He briefly wonders how long it will take him to move them to a safer place.

“Don’t turn him on yet,” he hisses, and shakes the manual in front of Chinen’s face in his desperation.

“Fine. I’ll read the damn thing.” Chinen snatches the manual in one swift move. He flips the manual open to a random page, his eyes lighting up after a quick scan. “Found it!” he exclaims triumphantly, and reaches for the back of the robot’s neck. 

Yamada gapes. “Do you ever listen to me?” 

Chinen doesn’t answer and instead takes a step back. Yamada mimics him, taking an extra step to hide behind Chinen, just to be safe. 

The robot starts to hum as his bones seem to glow alive underneath the skin-like texture before returning back to normal as the hum gradually fades into nothing. The robot opens his eyes and blinks up at the ceiling, blinking rapidly as though adjusting to the light. First an arm shoots straight up into the air. Then another one. The robot sits up slowly, looking around as he takes in his surroundings. It takes the robot a while to register Yamada and Chinen standing in the corner of the room, but when he does, he stares at them intently. Yamada shrinks even further behind Chinen.

“Don’t you want to greet your robot?” Chinen asks him, but Yamada just shakes his head vigorously. 

The robot looks confused as he tries to climb out of the box. It takes him a few tries before he lands on the hard floor in a heap. 

“We should have put him on the couch or something,” Yamada whispers to Chinen, only to realise that he’s moved right in front of the robot. 

The robot in his full height is at least two heads taller than Chinen, but he doesn’t seem to be intimidated by this at all. Chinen looks the robot dead in the eye and immediately reaches out a hand to palm his crotch.

“Hi, I’m Chinen Yuri,” he says, his hand not moving from the front of the robot’s pants.

“What are you -- don’t traumatise my robot!!” Yamada screeches from all the way across the room, but the robot only grins in response. 

“I was just saying hello,” Chinen insists, raising his hands up in surrender. “By the way, he isn’t broken merchandise. You’re welcome.” 

When Yamada’s eyes travel upwards to steal a peek at the robot, he’s shocked to find the robot staring right back at him. Before he registers what is going on the robot is walking towards him, his gaze unfaltering. Yamada frantically looks around but his feet don’t seem to want to move at all.

Yamada blinks because the robot has him against a wall. He can’t _move_ , and Chinen just cackles like the unhelpful brat he is. 

“Kabedon function,” Chinen reads aloud from the manual. 

Yamada peeks out from underneath the robot’s arms in shock. “There’s such a function?!” He wants to ask more, but quickly becomes distracted. The compromising position they are in suddenly becomes even more so as the robot’s face nears his. Yamada can see how the robot’s perfect, human-like skin is scattered with moles, and how his eyelashes are ridiculously long, casting a shadow on his awfully beautiful cheekbones. 

Their eyes meet, and he can’t look away. Yamada’s heart beats faster and his first instinct is to bolt, but something about the robot’s expression tells him that he won’t be allowed to get away. Yamada swallows, and Chinen just hoots louder. 

(Yamada makes a mental note to burn at least one Arashi poster when he gets out, provided that he does.) 

“Suki dayo.”

Yamada blinks. He’s fairly sure he heard correctly but then again it’s a wonder he can even hear anything over Chinen’s obnoxious laughter. He swears Chinen even choked at one point. He kind of sounds like he’s having an asthma attack, but Yamada isn’t so worried. He’ll live. 

“Come again?” He feels a bit silly talking to a robot he’s not even sure will understand him. 

“Suki dayo,” the robot repeats, his gaze unwavering. He looks like he’s about to say more, but then the robot stops and sniffs the air. 

“Is he _sniffing_ you?” Chinen asks, and he actually sounds disbelieving. “Awww, that’s so cute. Is he going to mark you next?”

“I. Don’t. Know,” Yamada grits out, as the robot moves to sniff his neck. “...Help?" Chinen only laughs some more. 

Yamada tries to demand that Chinen get him out of this mess, since he was the one who caused it in the first place, when he’s cut off by the robot, who licks a wet stripe along his neck. 

“CHINEN!” Yamada screams.

“No, we didn’t purchase a vampire, it says ‘robot’ on the box!” 

“Strawberry?” the robot mumbles, and steps back to look at Yamada. 

“I’m Y Series 3991 model number NKJ810, but you can call me ‘Yuto’. Nice to meet you, Strawberry-chan.” Yuto grins and promptly gropes Yamada’s crotch.

He freezes. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Chinen doing the same.

“I think he’s saying hello,” Chinen ventures, leafing through the pamphlet he picked up from the box. “Quick Ryosuke, you do it too!”

Yamada really wants to kill Chinen right now. 

“Look, it says here that he’s programmed to adjust according to his surroundings! He probably thinks that that’s the way to say hello,” Chinen reasons, laughing at Yamada’s scandalised face.

“This is all your fault, you corrupted my robot!” Yamada mutters. He then belatedly realises that Yuto’s hand is _still_ on his crotch, and shrieks, slapping the hand away. 

The robot frowns, looking at Yamada with sad eyes, and the latter feels his eye twitch. 

“Does Strawberry-chan not want to be my friend?” 

Yamada splutters. Yuto is looking at him with an expression akin to that of a kicked puppy, and Yamada doesn’t know what to do.

“Look Ryosuke, you made him sad.”

“First of all, my name is Yamada. Groping someone’s crotch is not the way to start a conversation, much less a friendship. Please remember it well.” 

“Did you not read the box?” Chinen asks. “It says he’s a perfect lover right here.” He jabs the subheading on the pamphlet with a finger for added emphasis. “This guy is not looking for friendship, Strawberry-chan. I told you that before, too. This is what you get for not listening to me.”

⚡ ⚡ ⚡ 

“We’re back!” Chinen calls from the doorway.

“Don’t come to the living room, I’m --” Yamada starts to say, when he feels a pair of arms wrap around his waist from behind. Startled, he freezes, feeling his limbs go weak when Yuto starts to nuzzle his neck. “Cleaning,” he breathes. 

“Tadaima,” Yuto whispers, face still buried in Yamada’s neck. 

“Okaeri?” Yamada squeaks in response. He thinks he feels Yuto inhale deeply, but he doesn’t dare turn to look. 

“I’ll do it,” Yuto says, before gently prying the vacuum cleaner away from Yamada’s hands. The next thing he knows is being carried to the couch, and then he is watching Yuto clean instead. 

“Why do you need to use my vacuum cleaner?” Yamada scowls at the newest resident of the apartment. “You’re a machine too, aren’t you? Can’t you just--?” he waves his arms around vaguely. 

“I don’t know what that means,” Yuto says, raised voice still mild over the sound of the vacuum cleaner. “I’m bonding with vacuum-san, because Strawberry-chan doesn’t want to be my friend.” 

“That’s not true,” Yamada begins to say, but then he doesn’t know how to go on.

“See, you made him sad,” Chinen says, eyes still following Yuto as he continues vacuuming the apartment, a pout still on his face. 

“Why are you still here?”

“I’m waiting for Yutti to finish cleaning so he can try on the new clothes we bought and parade around for you. By the way, here’s your credit card back.”

“You gave my robot a nickname?” Yamada asks, accepting the card with a frown. 

“Don’t call him a robot,” Chinen hisses. “You’ll hurt his feelings!” 

Yamada frowns at him. “How would you know?” he challenges. “Did you hurt his feelings earlier?”

“No, but he has feelings,” Chinen insists. “It says right here in the manual!” He produces the now-creased white booklet from the pocket of his jeans.

⚡ ⚡ ⚡ 

“Chii, I don’t think this fits,” Yuto says, his arms straight out in front of him. He looks down and twirls around in a circle, puzzled.

Yamada takes one look at Yuto’s ass and turns to Chinen, frowning. “What the heck did you buy with my money?”

Yuto finishes his cursory inspection of himself in the mirror and looks up. “You don’t like it?” he asks.

“No,” Chinen hoots, “he _loves_ it!” 

Yamada blushes, stealing a peek back at Yuto and shaking his head violently. 

“Feelings!” Chinen hisses in reminder, but Yuto is unbuttoning the top button of his shirt and all of a sudden Yamada can’t think.

“What are you doing?” he wants to ask, but his mouth is dry and nothing comes out. Yuto continues to unbutton. 

Yamada’s gaze continues to travel down as Yuto’s fingers continue to unbutton the shirt. _Up_ , he tells his eyes, to no avail. He watches until the very last button dealt with, and the shirt comes apart to reveal a very nice view.

“That was a… uhh… a nice shirt,” Yamada comments, eyes having darted around for something, _anything_ else, until they fall on the exact thing Yuto had just taken off.

Yuto tilts his head in confusion. “But I thought you didn’t like …” It’s then that Yuto notices him burning holes in the shirt. “Oh.”

“Here,” Yuto says, draping the shirt over Yamada’s shoulders. Yamada only blinks. “You wanted this right?” 

“You guys are gross.” Chinen mutters, rolling his eyes and getting up from his seat. 

“Where are you going?” Yamada asks, trying not to panic. He hopes Chinen isn’t going very far, because he’s not sure if he’s able to deal with Yuto on his own right now.

“Kitchen,” Chinen says, and wheels off. 

It is only when Yamada hears the lock of the front door click that he realises that Chinen had lied. Stupid brat. 

“Strawberry-chan,” Yuto coos with a tiny smile on his face, moving to sit with Yamada on the couch. Yamada notices this and starts shifting away slowly, until Yuto grabs his arm with a pout on his face. 

“Does Strawberry-chan not like me?” The look Yuto gives him could melt icebergs.

Yamada grapples for a response. “No, I… It’s not like I don’t like you,” he stammers.

“But you don’t!” Yuto insists, puffing up his cheeks indignantly. 

“It’s not like I don’t but--”

“Then say you like me,” Yuto demands childishly.

“What?” 

“Say it.” 

“Fine,” Yamada huffs. “I like you,” he mumbles, eyeing the carpeted floor. 

For a moment, he thinks Yuto didn’t hear him but then there’s a chuckle from above his head. Yamada feels his chin being tilted up, and suddenly Yuto’s face is all his sees. 

“I want you to say it like you mean it,” Yuto says quietly, and Yamada gulps under his piercing gaze. 

“I like you,” Yamada says. Yuto beams, and it’s enough to make him forget about his initial embarrassment. 

Yamada smiles.

It turns into a squawk of protest as Yuto squeals and jumps onto him, wrapping his arms around Yamada’s neck. Yamada's face is squished up against Yuto's toned chest and his face turns red, belatedly realising that Yuto is _still_ shirtless.

⚡ ⚡ ⚡ 

“Ryosuke, did you finally take up my suggestion to get takeout from that new restaurant? Because that smells amazing and it’s definitely not your cooking.”

“No, your new best friend took over the kitchen,” Yamada scowls, angrily jabbing buttons on the television remote. 

“Now don’t be so sad, I’ll always love you, chuu!” Chinen gives Yamada’s hair an encouraging ruffle. He turns his attention to the kitchen when Yuto pokes his head out to greet him. “Yutti! You can cook too? It smells so good! Can I please taste it please please please please pleeeeease?” 

“Can you please just cook forever and never let Ryosuke near the -- what are you wearing?” Chinen stops gushing altogether and gives Yuto a once over. 

“What’s wrong with the apron? Strawberry-chan made me wear it.” Yuto beams, a wooden spoon in hand.

Chinen raises an eyebrow and turns to Yamada. “You have weird kinks, bro.” 

“We didn’t have any other aprons!” Yamada cries, “does it matter? He’s not wearing it the right way anyway.” 

“Yutti, you’re wearing your apron the wrong way.” 

“Oh, right.” And then Yuto flips the apron around and grins proudly, 3D boobs jutting out and all. Chinen cackles as Yamada facepalms.

“I knew there was a reason why my sister gave that to you as a birthday present. Apron-san, you have fulfilled your purpose in life.” Chinen muses, reaching out to give Yuto’s 3D boobs a squeeze. 

“Can you stop touching his private parts? Even the ones that he doesn’t actually have?”

“You’re just jealous because he can actually cook,” Chinen scoffs, and Yamada’s eyes narrow. 

“I can so totally cook!” 

“Then can Strawberry-chan cook for me?” They both turn to look at him, startled, his presence still unfamiliar.

“My name is Yamada. You need to start calling me by my actual name,” Yamada sighs.

“So if I call you Ryo-chan can you cook for me?” 

Chinen scrunches up his nose in disgust. “You want _him_ to cook you cup ramen?” 

“Wait, you can eat?” Yamada frowns, partly at the new nickname, but mostly because it never occurred to him that robots could eat.

Yuto blinks and suddenly his eyes turn sad, his lower lip jutting out to form a perfect pout. 

“Ryosuke! Stop making him sad,” Chinen hisses. “If he gets mad he might stop cooking and we will all staaaaaaarve,” he whines, flopping his head dramatically onto the table. 

“Of course I can eat. You didn’t even read my manual, did you?”

⚡ ⚡ ⚡ 

“Oh my god your fake boobs are suffocating me.”

Yuto lets go just enough so Yamada can breathe again. “I thought you liked seeing me wear this,” he says, looking perplexed. “Don’t you like boobs?” 

Yamada sputters, his face turning red. “Who told you that?!” 

“Chii-chan,” Yuto explains. Yamada feels a little sour at hearing the pet name, but quickly gets over it when he realises that Chinen has been corrupting his robot even more behind his back. He makes a mental note to tell Chinen off for it later, not that it would do much good. For now though, his stomach is growling at him. 

Friday is the day Chinen comes home late, so for the first time in a week, Yamada has dinner alone with Yuto. It’s surprisingly not as an uncomfortable of an event he initially expected it to be, save for that one time Yuto tried to feed him whilst he was daydreaming. Not seeing Yuto’s spoon come towards his face until the very last second, Yamada had accidentally knocked his hand away when he tried to feed himself, sending food flying to the floor. He’d apologised profusely, feeling eternally grateful that Chinen wasn’t home. To his credit, Yuto had just laughed and gotten up to clean the mess before it stained. He’d tried again several times, but this time Yamada made sure to stay alert enough in order to dodge his attempts. 

After they clean up, Yuto turns to him expectantly. “Let’s watch a movie.” Yamada tries to refuse at first, but then Yuto uses _the pout_ , which Yamada swears shouldn’t be programmed into him, because now he just feels guilty. He wonders if there’s an instruction to remove it from the system. 

“But you didn’t let me feed you and now you don’t want to watch a movie with me,” Yuto whines, still pouting. 

“Fine,” Yamada sighs, giving in. He turns to open the fridge out of pure habit. “We’ll watch a movie.” 

“And cuddle?” 

Chinen seems to have eaten his pudding again. “.... and cuddle. But first, take off that apron. Please.” 

Yuto is efficient, Yamada thinks, because when he turns back around, he finds his robot gone. 

The titles blur together in front of his eyes when he goes to take a look at his DVD cabinet, so Yamada simply grabs one at random, then settles back awkwardly on the sofa to wait. 

A pile of blankets tumbles into a heap atop his head, causing him to jump and bat them away.  
When he resurfaces, just barely alive, Yuto’s sitting behind him on the sofa, one leg on either side of him.

“Can you actually watch the movie like this?” Yamada asks, wondering why his robot can’t just sit next to him like a normal person -- oh wait he’s a robot, a _lover robot_ , he hears Chinen’s words echoing in his mind. He pulls a blanket closer to himself, and passes the other one up to Yuto, which he promptly adorns like a cape.

“Of course,” comes the reply as Yuto rests his chin lightly on Yamada’s head, causing Yamada to squirm. “See? Perfectly fine, but don’t move too much, it tickles.” 

“I should be the one saying that,” Yamada grumbles, mostly to himself. Yuto’s chin is a little sharp. He shifts a little, trying to get used to the added weight. 

“So what movie did you pick?” Yuto reaches around him to pick up the discarded DVD box. 

“I just chose randomly,” he admits, shrugging. 

“MAKE U WET ～CHAPTER 2～,” Yuto reads aloud, slowly. Yamada can even hear the capitalisation in his voice, although he doesn’t know how. 

It is then he realises this is not a movie they should be watching. “PUT IT BACK, THAT’S PORN.”

“Are you trying to tell me something?” Yuto asks, surprised. “Why would you want to watch a porno when you have me?” His arms are still loose around Yamada’s waist.

Yamada twists his whole body around to look Yuto dead in the eyes. “It’s Chinen’s porn.”

Yuto makes a high-pitched shrieking noise and the porn in question goes flying across the room. 

The robot scrambles to his feet and quickly returns the offending movie to the hole in the cabinet. “Maybe let me choose this time.” 

On his way back, Yuto picks up the bowl of popcorn he’d left on the table earlier, and waves it around in Yamada’s face eagerly until Yamada reaches for it. “What did you pick?” Yamada asks. 

“It’s a surprise,” Yuto beams, pulling Yamada into his lap before he can protest. Yamada almost drops the popcorn bowl. 

Yamada recognises the opening scene immediately. “How did you know? I love this movie!” 

Yuto squeezes his hand. “Looks like I made a lucky guess.”

Yamada doesn’t realise the disappearance of his popcorn until the sixth time he brings his fingers to his lips, only to taste air. A side glance back at Yuto’s sheepish smile and butter-coated lips and Yamada sighs, putting the popcorn bowl aside. He won’t be eating any at this rate. 

To his irritation, Yamada feels a jab at his side right when the main couple start kissing. He tries to ignore it at first, but the jabbing gets more insistent and he turns to find Yuto with his lips puckered. Yamada rolls his eyes, turning back to the television.

Another jab, and this time Yuto actually points to his puckered lips.

“What?” Yamada hisses, “you don’t have anything on your lips, stop worrying.”

“But Strawberry-chan, they’re kissing! Why can’t we --” 

“On second thought, you do.” Yamada is quick to turn down Yuto’s suggestion, stuffing a tissue in his face. 

“Now can we--”

“Nope, you missed a spot.”

⚡ ⚡ ⚡ 

“Ohno-kun~” Chinen croons from beside him as Ohno scales the wall in less than fifty seconds.

Yamada plucks the homemade uchiwa out of Chinen’s hands to fan him, the edges of the hearts surrounding a print-out of Ohno’s face flapping with each movement. 

Chinen seems to sense this, narrowing his eyes at Yamada and snatching the uchiwa back. “Hey! I worked hard to make this, you aren’t worthy to be touching anything with Ohno-kun’s face on it.”

“Why don’t you just buy the ones they sell at concerts?”

“I want Ohno-kun to feel my love for him through my work,” Chinen begins explaining, and having heard the same words so many times before, Yamada tunes out, nodding his head occasionally to feign attentiveness while his eyes glaze over the television. MatsuJun has just landed gracefully from his jump when he becomes aware of Yuto scurrying across the room. 

He’d appeared in Yamada’s dream last night, materialising out of nowhere before fading, and Yamada had woken up feeling disappointed. The next moment, panic overtook him as he met his robot’s curious gaze.

Yamada screamed. It hadn’t been pretty. He doesn’t recall what ensued next but Yuto’s been avoiding him all day, ducking around corners and under a desk at some point to avoid Yamada’s eyes. 

He must have said something to his robot in his sleep addled haze to make Yuto so guilty. He’ll apologise at some point, but for now he needs to keep his attention on the television because Chinen is armed with an uchiwa.

Curious, he watches out of the corner of his eye as Yuto stops right in front of a chair, tilting his head, and then with a slight push, send the unoffending piece of furniture to the ground with a loud crash. 

Yamada wants to laugh at how absurd Yuto is being, but manages to control his voice long enough to say, “please pick that up.”

“Okay!” 

“Don’t damage my furniture, Yuto.” 

“... sorry, chair-san.” Yuto’s expression changes to one of remorse. Stretching, he picks up the fallen chair and sits on it, swinging his legs. “But at least Strawberry-chan paid attention to me!” 

When Chinen has stopped to breathe, Yamada turns to him. “This is all your fault.”

“You can blame me for the boobs, but not for this,” Chinen warns. “The pout is the reason why i can't take him out shopping for more than two hours without him going, Chinen pauses to make a pretty convincing impression of Yuto’s whiny voice. “I want to go home to see Strawberry-chan!” 

Yamada offers the shorter man an unimpressed look as he tries to fight the beginnings of a smile off his face. 

"He even got mad at me when I called you boring!"

Yamada steals a glance at Yuto, still trying to balance himself on two-legs of the chair. The robot notices his glance, beams, and promptly falls over. 

“It’s alright, robots don’t bruise,” Chinen says airily. 

Yuto responds by silently raising both hands to form thumbs up signs.

His legs are still in the air.

⚡ ⚡ ⚡ 

“Why am I doing this again?” Chinen whines as he folds and refolds the same shirt twice, but it still doesn’t look right. “Where’s Yuto?”

“I’m charging!” Yuto cries from behind the couch, lifting a foot to poke Chinen on the head.

“Oi!” Chinen yelps, turning around to glare at Yuto. Yuto flashes him a grin, and Chinen makes another disgruntled noise when a shirt is flung at his head.

“This is yours too, stop sneaking things into my pile, just fold your clothes,” 

Chinen huffs, “I should be the one telling you that. I’m not folding anything besides the clothes in my pile.” He puts the first shirt aside, then picks up the one that was just thrown at him with a sigh, and begins the laborious process again. 

“You can’t even do yours.” Yamada retorts, patting the tower of folded clothes that have formed on his side. 

“That’s why you’re doing Yuto’s pile too,” Chinen helpfully supplies.

Yamada groans at the reminder. His good mood at his completed shirt pile vanishes when he reaches for a pair of pants and sees how long the legs are. “Why the hell did you buy him so many clothes anyway,” Yamada grumbles. “And with my money!” He squints at the pants he’s holding up.

“Would you rather have a naked Yuto?”

Yamada only transfers his glare to him instead, and Chinen smiles in victory, despite the entire pile of unfolded laundry next to him. 

“Am I supposed to take off my clothes or…” Yuto pipes up. 

A pair of pants soars over the back of the sofa.

“JUST CHARGE YOURSELF, YUTO.”

⚡ ⚡ ⚡ 

With Yuto around, being home alone for even an hour is now a luxury for Yamada. An hour in which he always makes sure to take full advantage of when he gets it. He already has his full routine established: first is always a rose bath. Today, Chinen and Yuto are out doing god-knows-what, Yamada thinks that will take at least two hours, so Yamada allows himself one hour in the tub. After a bath comes his precious reading time.

Manga reading time.

Yamada chooses the seventeenth volume of his first favourite series this evening, and settles onto his bed to read in his third favourite reading position - lying on his front with his head dangling off the edge of the bed. Reading positions are important, because they affect the way he experiences emotions. It is totally scientifically proven. 

He only gets thirteen pages in - fifteen actually, but he went back because that kiss between the main couple was so cute he had to read it again, this time whilst lying on his back - when the door of his bedroom is rudely burst open.

“Tadaima!” is all Yamada hears before something whizzes into his line of vision and he is assaulted with something large and heavy. “Strawberry-chan.”

The manga volume falls from Yamada’s hands and onto the floor. “Umpf.” Yamada tries in vain to scramble upright, but Yuto proves far too heavy for that to be possible. 

“We bought lots of things today!” Yuto tells him excitedly, sighing contentedly next to his ear. 

As though on cue, Chinen chooses that moment to poke his head around the door. “Aww, this is cute. I’m gonna leave your credit card here,” he says, and slides something onto Yamada’s desk. 

“You used my money again?” Yamada groans, the weight of his robot weighing him down. “Seriously, can you at least try to remove this?” Yamada sighs, gesturing at Yuto with his only free hand after a few unsuccessful pushes.

“But it’s comfy here,” Yuto whines, but he rolls off him all the same. 

“Don’t lie bae, you like it,” Chinen quips, still leaning against the door frame. 

“Why are you still here?!”

Chinen puts on his most psychotic grin, making sure that Yamada sees it before backing away very slowly and pulling the door shut with him. 

Yamada allows himself to relax a little, closing his eyes but not forgetting to bookmark his position in the manga. He hears a strange sniffing noise and his eyes go wide at the realisation that he’s not alone. 

Yuto’s lying next to him with his head cradled in his palm, unashamedly watching him. 

“Yuto, this needs to stop.” Yamada manages to get out in a somewhat steady voice, even though his free hand is clutching his heart.

Yuto pouts at this, but prances out of Yamada’s room anyway. Chinen’s trashy rap music blasting through the walls only gets louder.

Yamada groans. So much for having some alone time.

⚡ ⚡ ⚡ 

“You want to go for a walk?” Yuto asks out of the blue one day. “I could do with some stretching. I think my back is seizing up.”

“Robots need to stretch?” Yamada blurts out, but hastily agrees in case Yuto accuses him of not reading the manual again. A walk with Yuto sounds nice. 

A while later, Yamada is starting to regret his decision. Watching him, Yamada’s reminded of a puppy, as Yuto sticks his nose in bushes and flowers until Yamada has to pull him away before a bee flies too close. He doesn’t know what a bee could even do to a robot, but just in case, he doesn’t want to find out. In school, Yamada was never very good at working with machines.

“How are these things new to you?” he wonders as he tugs Yuto away from the upteenth tree. “I thought Chinen’s been taking you out.”

“Yeah, but when he takes me to see his idol’s faces it’s usually indoors.” Yuto stops suddenly, turning to Yamada. Yamada blinks at the intense scrutiny. “Are you not having fun?”

“It’s not that,” Yamada says hastily, not knowing what else to say. He’s not sure, but Yuto might be able to tell if he’s lying or not based on the uptick of his heart. 

Yuto brightens. “Don’t worry, the day’s not over yet! I want to take you somewhere nice,” he declares. 

Yamada blinks some more. “What?”

“I’ll pay!” Yuto chirps. At that, Yamada rolls his eyes. 

“You do realise that it doesn’t count when it’s my money, right?” 

It surprises Yamada when his robot gives the most innocent head tilt possible, but the words that come out are far from. “I have Chinen’s credit card.”

Oh, well, that changes everything. “In that case, take me anywhere you’d like.”

The place Yuto takes him to is a fancy restaurant he’s never heard of, and he’s blown away the moment he steps inside. 

The buffet spread looks amazing, with an impressive range of cuisines, from Japanese, to Italian, to even French. Yamada swears he saw a waiter walk by with trays of Peking Duck, and he makes another note to close his mouth. 

“TV-san told me about this place the other day, and I decided I wanted to take you here. She told me that it’s a popular date spot~” 

Yamada feels himself salivating, the scent of charred beef flooding his senses. He quickly shuts his mouth. It’s improper to drool on the floor on your first date, no matter how good the food looks, so he just nods. Shortly afterwards, a waitress comes to direct them to a table. On the way there, he notices that the waitress is being too friendly to be professional, alternating between giggles and eyelash batting. She only has eyes for his robot.

Yamada squints, an irrational bout of jealousy surging coursing through him. Screw being proper and shy. He pulls Yuto down to his height, kissing him smack on the lips. His robot stiffens with surprise, but then melts into the kiss. 

“Thanks for bringing me here~” Yamada makes sure to say in a breathy voice when they part. 

Yamada turns back to the waitress, not bothering to hide the smirk on his face as Yuto sighs, his eyes wide and hands flying to his lips.

“Thank god this place is a buffet,” Yamada mutters when the waitress leaves. “There’s no way she can spit in my food.” 

Yuto looks at him, puzzled. “Why would she spit in your food? Does she want to kiss you too?” 

“...nevermind.”

Yuto frowns. “I don’t like the idea of someone else kissing you.”

“That makes two of us.” Yamada pushes back his chair to stand up. “I’m going to get food,” he announces, and turns to stride towards the buffet table with purpose. 

Just when Yamada reaches the cold section of the buffet, empty plate in hand, Yuto sidles up beside him with a smug grin on his face. “You were jealous, weren’t you? he asks. Yamada pretends not to hear him and reaches for the tongs.

He’s deciding between more salmon and ham when there’s a poke on his arm. “You were, weren’t you?” Yuto laughs gleefully. 

Yamada scowls and piles some salmon onto his plate, then moves down along the line. “Are you going to get food or not?” he hisses to his robot. “If you’re not, you’re holding up the line. Either grab a plate or go.”

Yuto blinks at him. “Why do I need a plate when I could just eat off yours?” he asks, but he takes the top plate from the nearest stack anyway, and peers at all the food with childlike wonder. “Research shows that sharing plates is a sign of intimacy.”

“Starve.”

⚡ ⚡ ⚡ 

They enter their apartment to a blur that looks suspiciously like Chinen flying towards them, and he finds himself in the air and placed out of its flight path.

There is a loud “thwack” as the blur collides with his robot and is lifted off his feet. “Oomf.”

“Oh it’s just you, Chii-chan!” Yuto sets the man down, but only removes one hand from around his waist to ruffle his hair.

Chinen growls as he tries to headbutt Yuto’s chest, which proves impossible because of his obvious height disadvantage. 

Eventually he gives up, settling for sagging against Yuto’s abdomen, and Yamada tries not to laugh at the ridiculous sight. “You idiots took my credit card!” 

“This is beginning to look like David and Goliath,” Yamada comments, perching on the couch. 

Still struggling against Yuto’s hold, Chinen squawks in protest, “I’ll have you know that David won--” He is cut off again when Yuto throws him over his shoulder. “AT LEAST TELL ME YOU GOT LAID.”

⚡ ⚡ ⚡ 

**omake**

“Hi I’m Inoo Kei from A.I.ing Aishiteru industries, at your service. How may I service your robot today?”

**Author's Note:**

> yuto is like a kite  
> too high up  
> to notice yamada  
> just a speck  
> in the dirt  
> but really  
> yamada is so fair  
> like fresh cream
> 
> -poetry by incandescence ruined by takajima


End file.
